Being a girl/woman

Today I feel like writing a blog that I have been thinking about doing for a while. But today I read something that made me decide today’s the day to write it. Today I read this post http://sirdef.tumblr.com/post/66756334227 and it got me thinking about several things I have wanted to blog about for ages.

I do not wear make up. There are many reasons I don’t the main reason being I can’t wear foundation as I have acne, which is nowhere near as bad as it used to be because I am really careful, I have never worn foundation and never plan on doing it because of my acne. Another reason I don’t is because I am too lazy to make time to actually apply the make up that I could wear. Also the British weather means that your makeup could easily be ruined by the rain. Also most lip products need to be reapplied after eating/drinking so there is very little point in doing it in my case as I like to eat and drink a lot. Also its rather expensive for such little tubes. Due to all these reasons I have only worn mascara 4 times and lipstick a couple of times. I prefer lip balms as its cheap and stops your lips from chapping also they smell great. I do not think of myself as better than women who wear make up. I have had girls in the past tell me that I should wear makeup which I find rude. My problem with women who wear makeup is when a few women don’t have the right shade foundation for their face, when they have a shade of lipstick that doesn’t suit them or an eye shadow that doesn’t suit them. My problem is when they wear make up that makes them look worse than they should look when wearing make up because I don’t believe they’re doing their faces justice. But its their face so they can do what they want. One girl who told me I should wear makeup used to put blush on her cheeks in such a way a boy in our class asked her if she’d been sunburnt because it was that severe looking. She isn’t a particularly nice person so I do not feel particularly sorry for her. I also have never worn false nails or false eyelashes because personally they freak me out. The idea of gluing them to me creeps me out but if you want to glue them to yourself that is fine. I won’t judge your choices. But some people feel the need to judge mine.

I have never dyed my hair a different colour. My hair colour is just my natural hair. I only wash it, shampoo it, condition it, and brush it. I rarely style it. Why? Because it involves waking up earlier, a lot of it involves potentially damaging my hair to coax it into being something its not. As long as I can get through my day without it getting in my eyes its good enough for me. Maintaining your roots has always seemed like a lot of hassle and I’ve never had a problem with my natural hair colour so I have never bothered. If you want to do these things to your hair then that’s fine.

I don’t think anyone is dumb or vapid for wearing makeup, styling their hair, generally caring more about their appearance than I do or choosing to diet. If they want to do those things that’s fine. I’ll say I’m different from other women but I’d never claim I’m better than them. I like to eat so I’ll never understand diets but as long as that person is healthy that’s fine. I would never say they’re stupid. Its their choice and my version of being female isn’t better than their version of being female. What confuses me is why we actually care about what people think of what we want to look like? I mean why make yourself miserable to try make a majority happy who will probably be never happy with you. Why forget about what you want to make someone else happy? You have to live with yourself, you don’t have to live with anybody else.

I mean sure there are things about some women I don’t get like why wear shorts that don’t cover your butt cheeks and the 12 year olds who walk around looking like jail bait confuses me as its not the most flattering look. It confuses me that women have one night stands with guys they’ve just met that night because you have no idea who that person is. I mean it in the sense that women should be safe to go out at night but they’re not so they should be careful with who they leave with. It would be great if women could do what they wanted without fear of their safety but the reality of it is we have to be careful and will do for a while. This other girls concept is something I have never understood because I don’t worry about other girls because hey what they want to do is their business. If we’re all unique then none of us are completely alike. So why exactly are we comparing ourselves? I have never done it because I’m never going to be anything but who I am so what’s the point. So other girls do this? I am aware that other girls are prettier than me but I don’t really feel insecure over it because this is my face, Can’t do anything about it, so why get upset over it? I mean I know insecurities are something you can’t control but why do women hate each other over generally insignificant stuff.

The blog mentions something about a 23 year old woman who’s been producing and writing music since she was 16 but all you hear is people talking about her relationships. I’m assuming this about Taylor Swift and I guess people link her with the people she has dated because some of her songs are written about her old relationships and that yes she writes her own music about other things as well, but her relationships and her music go hand in hand. I’m not saying she can’t do that, if she wants to do that it’s fine. Its her life I don’t think less of her for dating all those people just that all her songs about her exes create a direct link to her love life and her music. I’m not saying that makes her a bad person just I can see why her love life is noticed before her music sometimes. Also the mention of celebrities women crush on and hate their girlfriends for dating them. I’ve never actually understood this because you don’t know either of these people and you have made judgements on them. I have never understood it. I mean this woman has started dating a man you were never going to date. It doesn’t make a difference to you. This woman currently making the celebrity man happy. What’s so wrong with that? This celebrity male was just an unattainable fantasy. The odds of anything ever coming of this fantasy are very low. I’d never say impossible but they’re highly unlikely. I mean I personally don’t know any women who are that obsessed with a celebrity they’ve ever said hateful things about his girlfriend.

I mean I don’t know any girls who behave/act like the way this post describes women. There again I have only a few friends that I’m close to. But I wasn’t aware all women/girls were in this competition to be the best example of a woman. Nobody told me that I’d been signed up to this competition against my will. Why are we so bothered about being better than other people? What does it matter that not everyone is going to see you the way other people who love you see you? Why try please everybody? I guess I’m not going to get answers to these questions but other women can compete to be the best if they want, I’m just going to sit over here and accept that I am myself and that sacrificing my own happiness to make the rest of the world happy is a waste of the time I have to live my life.

 

Irritated

Today I was out looking for a tail coat because for my birthday this year I’m going to be going round town with my friends in fancy dress. Me and a couple of my friends are going to be dressed as slutty Batman villains and I’m going to be the penguin. So today I bought the most perfect tailcoat from a vintage shop for £40. If my husband Debbi had been there and not in Cornwall she’d probably have told me I had to get it. I also went into another vintage shop where they had cheap bowties and I picked up three. Anyway I went to the till and the man who served me asked if I were getting them for boys and I was like no they’re for me and he was like oh, when I went on to say they’re for fancy dress he suddenly didn’t think it was a big deal.

I’m sorry but am I not allowed to purchase bow ties without being asked questions? Am I not allowed to wear bow ties because I am female? Am I only allowed to wear such things a fancy dress? How about fuck you and your ideas. I bought a men’s tailcoat because at 5’10” and with my build they fit my shoulders and my long arms and this one cuts off at the perfect point to highlight my waist. And bows are generally seen as feminine. So why can a girl not purchase a bow tie for herself? I mean damn so masculine. What if I wanted to look masculine? I’d probably be even more offended right now. I’m sorry but who the fuck do you think you are to have ideas about what I should wear.

I also experienced something similar earlier on that day when I bought a man’s blue waistcoat because it actually fit me quite well. The lady who served me was talking about how it was an entire suit and it looked beautiful together before other parts had been sold. I said I could see how it would make a good suit. And she was like yeah a men’s suit not a women’s suit. Excuse me but I will buy a fucking men’s waistcoat if I want. I’m sorry for providing you with my custom. Next time maybe I won’t fucking bother. I mean I have the right to wear what I want. Or maybe I’m buying someone a present. Who the fuck do you think you are judging my purchases? I’m paying for it well then keep your opinions to yourself. I didn’t ask for them so shove them up your arse where they will never see the light of day. I shouldn’t have to explain myself or have comments made. I don’t judge the men I serve at work buying make up. Maybe they’re buying it for a female relative, a female friend, or a girlfriend/wife. Maybe they’re buying it for themselves. Is it my place to comment on it? No because if the customer want to talk about it they will. They have the right to buy the make up without receiving the Spanish Inquisition from me, also I don’t really care if the make ups for them or some female they know they have the right to buy that makeup without me judging them. But people who serve me seem to think that they have the right to comment that I’m buying men’s clothes. I will buy whatever I want. It fits me. I have bought it. It’s now my clothing. It doesn’t specifically belong to just the men. It belongs to me. Maybe you shouldn’t let your big mouth say the things you think with your small mind.

Yet another problem with being tall. Being a proportion that suits some men’s clothing is irritating when being served by people who feel the need to comment on your purchases. However I’m tall enough that the first tail coat I found fit me well, so I guess being tall has its up and its downs. However the vintage shop I got my tailcoat from has lovely staff who told me the tailcoat suited me and didn’t judge at all. That’s good customer service. Not informing me I’m purchasing items that are generally men’s clothing. I’m aware, I just don’t give a damn. If I only I could gutpunch those people. Oh well to take a line from the song Bad Reputation by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts “They’re living in the past it’s a new generation” and we’re a taller generation and I am around the average height of a man as opposed to the average height of a woman, so fuck people and their opinions on what I wear. I’m not a part of your system. I’M AN ADULT. I will buy whatever I want and wear what I want and if you have a problem with that then you live a sad life as the odds of me seeing you again are very low. I think my rant is done for now.