Foreword: I don’t know what the following is. Its something written in my head when I couldn’t sleep so I decided to just leave it here on my blog as my mind feels less cluttered when I blog it out of my system. I’m not sure what’s with this but it exists now and it looks how I want it to look. Idek how to describe it or tag it really but yeah its definitely not my usual thing.
Once again I can’t sleep,
My body’s weary and my eyes are tired,
But my brain buzzes with thoughts,
Ideas,
I compose arguments I’ll never make,
Daydream of lovers I’ll never have,
Dream of things I haven’t done,
Never will.
Is there an alternate universe where I did?
Does it matter?
I still need to be up at *insert time* tomorrow
Time runs away with my thoughts,
My alarm draws closer
I try calm my mind
With a dream of someone who can calm the storm inside
Does that person exist?
Does it matter right now?
If I could relax completely then yes,
It does.
But that won’t allow me precious sleep tonight,
Pretend they exist,
Maybe it’s a lie,
Necessary
But still a partial lie
They say there’s plenty of fish in the sea
Some girls treat their vaginas as nets,
What’s the catch of the day? Syphillis?
Oh the things a girl will do to get a prince’s kiss
But still what of me?
These thoughts still rob me of my sleep,
Keep me awake,
Is there such thing as someone perfect for me?
Some will try and make you what they want,
I’m a person not lego bricks,
You can’t break me down to suit your needs,
Is there even a point?
To life?
To this rambling?
My mind wanders off again,
The places you can arrive from tangents,
Will I ever find someone who can keep me focused,
Make my mind relax,
Or will I have to wait til death,
Oh I do hope death brings silence
My brain chatters like birds in the morning,
When will silence arrive?
Surely it will get better than this?
But for tonight I placate myself,
Once again
With the idea
Of an imaginary prince who can silence it all
A feeling of safety,
Relaxation,
Not the end of the storm,
Merely the eye.
But it will have to do,
At least for tonight.
The Goddamn Gutpuncher 